New wise mother, good wife

Past – Wise mother, sweet wife, stay-at-home mom. Passive and obedient women were thought to be perfect wives.

Present – A wife who earns a lot of money, makes smart money investments, and looks gorgeous. She must be good at housekeeping, raising and educating children.

So the Korean series “Modern Housewives” also known as “New wise mother, good wife” begins running on national TV with a definition of an ideal wife and mother from the eyes of a jaded sole breadwinner and newsmaker.

The husband to a full-time housewife (part-time supermarket cashier) is now a disgruntled white collar, struggling to cope with the demands of a sandwiched middle class. The wife, for her lack of sophistication and economic independence, is a liability rather than an asset, her role as a homemaker is taken for granted, her daily struggles to cope with the required tasks are considered as signs of incompetency and her contributions never appreciated.

A situation that is typically facing most single income Asian families. What was once a slogan taken by the first wave Japanese feminists to empower the women with political will, ‘wise mother, good wife’ or ‘good mother, wise wife’ had been reinterpreted to serve the needs of chauvnistic societies. The good woman is one who will sacrifice herself for her family welfare, regardless of whether she is a full-time homemaker or co-breadwinner.

And so, modernity in Asia has ironically enslaved rather than free the modern women. Marriage remains a chauvnistic shackle for the modern woman, it would seem. But the modern housewives in ‘New wise mother, good wife’ would beg to differ. Divorce is not the only way out, nor is economic independence the only means to gain respect. The key is to free oneself from the ideology of a ‘wise mother, good wife’. The modern woman has to embrace her own individuality first, before her husband or her family.

She is not afraid to give and forgive, but her emotional generosity should not compromise her standing in the family or society.

‘New wise mother, good wife’ offers a fresh take on the dilemma facing the modern woman, man and family. Not only does it seek to break away from traditions that confines individuality, it also re-affirms the spirit of humanity.

Hana Kimi – The art of androgyny

Androgynous: (adj) a term derived from the Greek words άνδρας (andras, meaning man) and γυνή (gyne, meaning woman)that can refer to two concepts regarding the mixing of both male and female genders or having a lack of gender identification.

Above definition from Wikipedia.

In Hana Kimi, Ella (pictured centre in the above poster) of the Mandarin pop trio, S.H.E., won fans over with her hilarious personification of the trials and tribunals of a girl cross-dressing as a boy to enrol into an all boys school to get up close and personal as her idol (an accomplished athlete studying in the same school).

What doesn’t fail to entertain through the history of such cross-dressing series is the confusion that arises from mistaken gender identity. Of gay men who can tell a woman from a man better than other heterosexual men or women. Of (heterosexual) men doubting their own sexualities when they fell for these (wo)men.

Ultimately, it boils down to a single question – how far should our sexuality be tied to our gender.

And it is precisely because of this controversial aspect of the storyline that the series did not pass through the local censorship board unscathed. Crucial scenes capturing the dialogue between the female protagonist with her love counsel, a gay teacher, were heavily censored to remove any direct mentions of homosexuality – obviously an unpopular and taboo subject in an island-nation that cannot afford to put the sexuality of its limited population to test.

But what really puzzles me is why did the local TV station even consider airing Hana Kimi in the first place, knowing and understanding that gender confusion/(homo)sexuality is a major theme in the series?

Thankfully for me at least, I do not need to rely on local channels solely for my entertainment needs.

I couldn’t imagine deriving any joy from watching the censored version after watching and enjoying every bit of the uncensored original.

Fantasy couple: straight talking women on the rise

Just finished Fantasy Couple or Couple or Trouble, a Korean interpretation of Goldie Hawn’s 1987 classic, “Overboard”.

The female lead, Ana Jo is a rich and spoilt young lady, much well-known for her wilfulness and lack of tact – somewhat common traits among leading female characters in Korean production (see My Sassy Girl, My Love Patazzi).

If the popularity of these characters are anything to go by, the tide may be set for a change in the definition and representation of Korean femininity.

Korean Supermodel Han Ye Seul, who played Ana Jo in the series, has this to say when she spoke of the popularity of the lead character:

“When I see how popular characters like Ana Jo are, I realize that Korea is changing fast. The public is becoming more open-minded. It’s cool. Such a mindset is important for us to develop, isn’t it?”

Does Islam encourage submission of women to men?

A question triggered off by an earlier comment from strangeknight on how ‘arabisation’ of malay culture has possibly changed the perception of gender performativity amongst muslim women in Malaysia. Given that ‘arabisation’ of cultures is often associated with the spread of Islam – see quote from Arts, Culture and Heritage Minister and wiki’s definition – this really sets me thinking as to whether Islam does in fact, encourage the submission of women to men.

It ain’t quite surprising that the evidence refuting an affirmative to my question has to come from the research findings of a presumably Muslim Malaysian woman.

In her research tracing the genealogical interpretation of Islamic teachings pertaining to women’s role, Raihanah Abdullah^ argues that the original intent of Islam was to ‘improve the position of women’ over their ‘inferior status … during the pre-Islamic period’.

So in comparison to the pre-existing ‘practices and customs of the pagan society’ where

1. Women were considered as property and not given any rights to determine their own lives
2. Female infanticide prevailed for the reasons of shame and poverty
3. Women were perceived as not being able to contribute to their own tribes
4. Unlimited polygamy and divorce as well as payment of dowry to the father

contributed to the inferior status of women in the pre-Islamic period, the Qur’an revised these customs to suit the spirit of Islam which advocates ‘principles of equality, justice and humanity in an Islamic society’. Hence,

1. A Muslim man may marry up to four wives simultaneously (ie restricting polygamy)
2. Muslim women have rights to their dowries

And to protect married women’s status in a family unit

3. Muslim women have rights to inherit property from her male relatives and husband; the right to a bequest and the right to possess and manage her own property during marriage and after divorce.

Quoting a direct verse from the Qur’an, Raihanah interpreted Islamic teachings as recognising the equal rights of women and men – both ‘men and women are equal with respect to moral and spiritual obligations’.

Further as Raihanah argues, such equality between men and women extends to social, economic and political spheres. Raihanah seals her point in quoting the ‘dynamic, influential and enterprising’ wives of Prophet Mohammad as examples, in particular, the authoritarian figure of Aisha in Quranic and legal studies.

Therefore for Raihanah, women’s status deteriorated not as a result of the spread of Islam. Rather, the limiting of women’s rights really began by the ‘end of Umawi period and early Abbasid’ when gender prescriptions were adopted from Byzantine, Persian and Sasanian civilisation. For the elites of these societies, ‘harems, concubines and confining women to their private homes were regarded as symbol of [their] social status’.

These were the same social norms that were applied to Middle Eastern countries now or as I daresay – as implied in Raihanah’s research – operating in Malaysian societies. All these work to restrict Muslim women’s roles not just only in their religious participation but also in social, economic and political spheres.

So, if Raihanah is spot on in her genealogical interpretation, Islam has indeed been very wronged. It would appear we all need to replace these coloured lenses we’ve been using to assess the religion and its followers.

**************************************************************************************************

Some may argue Raihanah’s exercise is possibly an attempt to externalise the flaws of Islam. However, the beauty of Raihanah’s research lies exactly in her unflinchingly confrontation with the historical evolution of Islamic norms, her honest attempt to debunk the (mis)interpretation of religious teachings to support the cause of ruling minority.

That again, is exactly why we need to reassess the claims of so-called traditions and their relevance in our social, economic and political contexts.

Let’s not take things or judge others at face value.

^Findings and quotes from Raihanah Abdullah’s paper, ‘Muslim Women in Malaysia’ published in Women in Malaysia: Breaking Boundaries.

Wedded during Japanese Occupation

Visited Ford Factory – the historical building that witnessed the surrender of British colonists to Japanese invaders during World War II.

Refurbished to document the Japanese Occupation, this latest ‘museum’ is open for free visits till 16 February 2006.

Much has been said on the atrocities of the war, but what is arguably more valuable is the portrayal of everyday life during the occupation.

Here I’ve elected to feature the wedding gown, which is exhibited amongst other day-to-day items. The gown is notable for its simplicity, which is reflective of thrift exercised to cope with a general shortage of and inflationary pressures on prices of daily necessities and resources. The bride-to-be also noted the austerity of the wedding proceedings despite her hefty outlay of S$40,000. What is interesting to note is despite the difficulties in putting together a wedding during the occupation, women (and men) persisted in adhering – as far as their resources would permit – to their traditional rituals. Now considering the percentage of post-modern women (and men) who prefer to skip the customary or even getting their marriages/unions legally registered at all in this time of abundance, I really wonder whether liberation from colonial rule – as a nation and individuals – has rendered traditions obsolete.

What price companionship?

Answer this question in no more than three seconds before reading the rest of this post: Would you or would you not accept a platonic – ie no sex involved – proposition from a total stranger to accompany him/her for a stipulated period of time for a stipulated sum of money?

Now consider this: what if you were approached by the said stranger – a foreigner – in a restaurant and were offered a sum of S$5,000 for your company over the next two weekend?

Does the above scenario make a material difference to your response?

This was a real life proposition offered to a white collar working girl over a lunch/dinner appointment with her fellow colleague.

The same scenario was repeated for the purpose of soliciting responses from a few other Singaporean women in their late twenties and early 30s. Needless to say, responses to such a proposition which tested the ‘conservative limits’ of a developed Asian society are more often than not attached with moralistic values and judgements.

A – a scholar and corporate high-flier – is quick to say no and to equate this with the treatment of social escorts. So disregarding the promise of a ‘no sex involved’ transaction, for A, it is moralistically wrong for any woman to accept such a proposition.

But why so? B asked. When sex is not part of the deal and when companionship is also part of service offered by other widely accepted professions such as tour guides?

Well, as C would argue, there’s always a nudging question when such a large sum of money is offered by a total stranger and foreigner to an Asian woman that sex – though not stipulated as part of the package – will be ultimately included in the deal. And who’s going to vouch for the credibility and reliability of a stranger and guarantee the safety of the woman providing the service?

But if there are clear conditions laid out in the first place, B counter argues, that will not compromise the (sexual) integrity of the woman, what’s stopping her from accepting the proposition? Afterall S$5,000 is good money, and for a woman to reject such a proposition, she’s probably not in need of money?

The proposition may have been offered to a Singaporean lady in her early 30s but the entire situation is not exactly gender specific. I have also come across cases where young men in their early twenties were offered money in exchange for their companionship.

For those who are still curious of the outcome, the lady in question has in fact accepted the proposition from an Italian stranger.

Personally I would not accept such a proposition from the opposite gender although I would hesitate to label anyone who does so as a social escort or to write off the transaction as amoral. Likewise, B’s arguments are fairly grounded on the basis of a capitalistic society.

So why would I say no? Well again, the idealist in me refuses to buy in to the myth that money can buy you anything in this world. I believe by consenting to participate in the trading of one’s companionship for money is arguably endorsing the statement that ‘life’s intangible richness and fragility’ can be ‘made invisible by the abstract calculations of cost-benefit analyses’ (quote from Bakan’s The Corporation p. 65).

And to the stranger who has approached me with such a proposition, my response will be ‘ No, I will not take up your offer. But yes, I will be happy to show you around the city if I find you a pleasant enough companion and interesting enough acquaintance’.

Water opens in Singapore

If you haven’t watched it already, please catch this before it closes in Singapore.

Deepa Mehta’s last instalment of her ‘elemental trilogy’ – as with the earlier releases, Fire and Earth – interrogates the legitimacy of norms and traditions in patriarchal Indian society.

At the foreground, Water narrates the plight of Indian widows who were ostracised by the mainstream society and manipulated for the pleasures of social elites. Set against the backdrop of the rise of Ghandian idealism, however, Water is arguably also a narrative of the nation’s struggle for independence and freedom from the oppression of its colonial masters.

Therein lies the spirit of the trilogy, Deepa Mehta’s attempt to elucidate for her audience, how we have to ‘stand up to the system’ in order to open doors to avenues that may otherwise not be apparent in life^. So when Shakuntula, the devout Hindhu finds within herself the courage to question the basis for discriminating widows, she finally realises it is but a self-serving measure of convenience to protect the interests of a patriarchal family unit. And it is only upon such (belated) epiphany that Shakuntula decides to make a difference for young Chuyia, an eight-year-old widow on the brink of being forced into prostitution.

The widows in Water are far from the only ones who are entrapped by their blind obeisance to hegemonic norms. Patriarchal notions of gender performance remain operative – often unchallenged through adopting the guise of traditions – in our daily lives. The beauty of Deepa Mehta’s trilogy lies precisely in the director’s ability to deal with universal issues through specific cultural contexts, hence providing a reprieve for her audience to reflect and rationalise their life situations.

^See Business Times review December 22 for full quote.

More info on mistreatment of widows in ‘traditional societies’ available here.

Traditions and sexual inhibitions

One month ago, Sayoni Speak highlighted a survey conducted among (female) tertiary students. The results reflected a correlation between homophobia and adherence to ‘traditional perspectives on the role of women’.

This sets me thinking as to what constitutes the traditional Asian femininity and whether the survey results are indeed reflective of the operational traditions that have encouraged the inhibition of sexual expressions in Asian societies.

My earlier post on Chinese characters may speak volume of the social expectations on the ‘second sex’ in Asia. I’ll not expound further on the Chinese population which I intend to discuss in greater depth in the future. But here, let me take a stab at exploring the role of Malay women pre and post-colonial times.

Interestingly, if my limited research is at all indicative of Malay traditions, indigenous women in the early days of colonial Malaya (including Singapore) have in fact enjoyed relative ‘freer rein’ in their self-expressions than their post-colonial sisters.

One of the earliest English settlers in Singapore, Frank Swettenham, for instance, had detailed in his descriptive account of the Malayan lifestyles, how women appeared to enjoy relative autonomy in their intellectual and sexual expressions – particularly after their marriages (my own emphasis here).

So,

In Perak, a man who tries to shut his womankind up and prevent her intercourse with others and a participation in the fetes and pleasures of Malay society, is looked upon as a jealous, ill-conditioned person.

And while a Malay man is entitled to “have as many as four wives”, a married woman – possibly of genteel birth – ‘can and often does, obtain a divorce from her husband’.

This arguably runs into contrary popular expectations of a Malay/Muslim woman, whose veiled countenance is often constructed (perhaps more so in the west, native scholars prefer a different reading) as a repression of her sexual expression and subjugation of the feminine to that of the masculine*. Likewise, the widely embraced norm of familial duties before career and proliferated images of ‘docile’ and ‘submissive’ feminine bodies at work all served to perpetuate social norms supporting the stereotype of a hyperfeminised Malay woman^.

I do not think my resources here are exhaustive or conclusive enough to dwell on the fracture between pre and post-colonial Malay women. Suffice to say however, I do think such ‘subtle’ differences are sufficient cause for Asian women in the post-colonial age to question the basis and the dominant reading of the so-called traditions.

*See ‘Negotiating Their Visbility: The Lives of Educated and Married Malay Women’ by Roziah Omar in Women in Malaysia: Breaking Boundaries on alternative reading of the ‘veil’ or tudung.
^In her paper, Vicki Denese Crinis provides a more detailed discussion on the possible motivations for constructing the ‘hyperfeminised Malay woman’.

What it means to be a Chinese woman … literarily

Am reading the English translated text of The Good Women: Hidden Voices by a long-time mainland Chinese broadcast journalist, Xinran.

The back jacket cover possibly captures the essence of the multiple facades of feminine identities in Chinese society:

For the ease of my discussion here, I will be converting these original characters into simplified Chinese texts.

Most Chinese would recognise the first character, 女, which stands for a female.

The second character is commonly used in the noun, 家庭主妇, which translates to home-maker or housewife in English. The noun 妇女 – which combines the second character with the first – is also commonly used to refer to women in general. So presumably, if we could assume that in Chinese societies – as implied in the character – women are expected to assume the duties of a home-maker.

The third pair of characters 姑娘 is the traditional Chinese honorific referential term for women. And since 良 also means kindness, this honorific term could also be taken to imply a general kindly character across Chinese womenfolk.

Now the last word arguably speaks volume of what is expected of women in Chinese patriarchy. The obsession with carrying on one’s family name explains the privileging of sons over daughters in a traditional Chinese family. Hence the word 好 (good) is a combination of 女 and 子 (son). It is commonly expected then of married women to fulfill their duties in carrying on the family name by bearing sons. Only then could a woman be considered ‘good’ by the moral standards of a feudalistic Chinese society.

In case you are wondering, I’m no linguist here. And no the above are all my conjectures. They are not indicative of the contents of the book itself, which I may be reviewing in a subsequent post.

Sexy dresses for women in ‘Muslim fundamentalist state (?)’

Moving into unchartered territory here, kindly flag incongruencies in my report below should you be aware of the details on the dress code for Kelantan women. Constructive comments are welcomed!

In what appears to be a persistent attempt to apply Islamic Law in Kelantan, a Malaysian state dominated by opposition Islamic Party of Malaysia (PAS), Kelantan Mentri Besar or Chief Minister defended a recent decision by Kelantan capital state’s Municipal Council to impose a RM500 fine on women – Muslim and non-Muslim – “dressed sexily or indecently”.

This appeared to be a repeat motion of the state government’s last proposal in March 2005to enforce a regulation that will ‘force non-Muslim women to don long skirts and loose, long-sleeved blouses’.

Both attempts of Kelantan’s government to regulate a uniform dress code amongst its female citizenry had attracted swift criticisms from the Federal government.

Leaders of the Islamic ruling party in Kelantan had quoted a possible reduction in sex crimes and disrespect of the ‘customs, culture and religious values’ of a ‘deeply conservative’ state’ entrenched with a unique blend of ethnic Malay culture.

Both of these attempts at imposing across-the-board dress code for all ethnicities in Kelantan have invited strong criticisms from the federal government.

Members of the federal government, particularly from the ruling national party, Barisan Nasional, swiftly criticised PAS for disregarding women’s rights – Muslim and non-Muslim alike and undermining women’s capabilities (see most recent critique on The Star).

On Channel News Asia just two nights ago, a senior member of Barisan Nasional flagged up a concern with straining racial relations through an imposition of such a culturally insensitive ruling.

What is interesting to note however, is a long history of harmonious relationship between the Muslim majority and other religious minorities in Kelantan at the grassroots level.

So is this but a political smoke screen or a departure from what is perceived to be “PAS’s racially tolerant politics”?

We shall wait and see.

Addendum:

1. Ah how naive I must have been to pose my earlier question. Dr Dzulkifli Ahmad, Director of PAS Research Centre spoke in defence of the PAS’s stance to impose dress code in Kelantan. Needless to say, not everyone agrees with her on this issue.

2. Two days after this post, Kelantan reportedly ‘tops surfers list for porn’ in an internet survey tracking search items on Google. The same report also implied that the ultra conservative stance of Kelantan state has arguably backfired – institutionalised censure could only fuel greater interest in seeking alternative sources of information and outlets of expression.